When I drank that coffee, I entered the Monolith

Once upon a time I didn’t say much.  As a kid, I wanted to own a restaurant.  Then I wanted to be a perpetual student.  I wanted to be a DJ once too. Lolz!! :o).  Maybe I dreamed of being an artist, but even when I was on acid, I had trouble drawing a stick person (non-gender specific).  I was as much a painter, as Andrew Bolt is a philosopher, Janet Albretchsen a journalist, Alan Jones a heterosexual, Pauline Hanson a sports illustrated model and Tony Abbot…well what exactly is he?

Then I wanted to take lots of drugs.  Then I got really tired, from taking lots of drugs and having lots of sex.  Drugs and sex are an exhausting combination.  You should try it sometime. 

Despite the rampant hedonism, I always had passion for learning…As a consequence, I wanted to be a lesbian.  I even thought I was a feminist, becoming the first ‘man’ to graduate from Griffith University’s Bachelor of Arts, Majoring in Feminist Stuff.  Then, naturally, I wanted to be a librarian, the obvious career path for a lesbian feminist…or so I thought.  I worked at State Library of Queensland and out the window went notions of libraries as harmonious places of learning, feminism ‘n’ shit.  I got a good understanding of the complexities of ‘cat fighting’, applying Foucault’s theories of power, made my arts degree worthwhile. 

Typical of most librarians, I had the aching desire to be a personal trainer.  At the same time, I wanted to be self-employed, living a largely organic, self-sufficient lifestyle (whatever that means) in northern New South Wales…Problem: have you ever read any research articles written by hippies? 

Then I wanted to be a dietician.  It took me two years to remember how much I hate skinny bitches. 

Then I was a personal trainer.  Then, I worked with them.  Then, one of them threatened to throw his co-worker down the stairs, and that if his co-worker didn’t “shut their mouth”, he would “shut it for them”. 

In the meantime, I want to massage people and hope they shut their stupid mouths while I’m doing it…but if they don’t, I won’t push them off the table, in the middle of a ‘treatment’.  I probably won’t even threaten to do so. 

Did I mention that I discovered coffee too?  It’s my 2001, but it didn’t happen till somewhere in the mid 2000s, I think? 

And, now, when I look around and see how dumb people are, I’m compelled to be a writer.  I don’t really care if I’m shit. It never stopped Bryce, Delta or Laura from continuing to do the things they love, or be the ‘people’ they want to be.  And while I’m at it, those ‘inspirational’ pictures of words on facebook really annoy me. 

And as an afterthought, it annoys me when I see hear people talking about ‘people of same gender’ getting married. The same gender.  What gender am I?  Girlfriend, please.  Yous make me think that I still want to be a marxist, feminist, atheist, lesbian separatist.

 

I know this is poorly written, but Yasir says I have to post on my blog regularly.  Yasir says this, Yasir says that…

Monolith